If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
