Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
