Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
