Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize