I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
