Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
