stop calling my apartment porn island.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize