Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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