just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
