I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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