it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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