4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we made out on top of his cat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
