Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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