remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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