at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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