and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
