I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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