I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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