Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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