this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
