Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
