McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
