I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
