i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
