The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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