dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
