Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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