Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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