you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
