Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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