nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
