dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize