would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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