smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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