I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
