What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
