i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
barbara walters just said penis...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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