have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
