oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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