And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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