i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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