he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
