While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
