no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
