woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
