I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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