apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
