Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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