my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
