It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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