i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
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