no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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