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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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