i would punch a child for taco bell
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
