I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
