actually, I'm a sock model
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
