Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
