Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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