Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
